Showing posts with label interview. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interview. Show all posts

Interview with another cohabitant

Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Meet my friend Steffie. She has been dating her B.F. longer than most marriages last these days and they literally just moved in together. She received some good advice from a few older women -- see question 4. Steffie, my B.F. always complains that I throw my bags and kick off my shoes when I first get in. I also have every intention to pick them up but not at that exact moment. It must be a girl thing.

How long have you been dating the B.F.?
Jeremy and I have been dating "officially" for about three and half years, but have been "seeing each other" (if you want to call those crazy college years) for about six.

How long have you been living together?
We have been living together for a month.

What was the final decision maker? ( Don't say financial reasons because all the experts say that's a big no-no.)
Well, we practically stayed with each other every night, anyways, and we decided that it was the next step in our relationship in order to see if we would be capable of putting up with each other before we take the next BIG step!

What did your/his parents say? Did you consult them or anyone else for their opinion?
HA...I haven't consulted my parents on a big decision since high school! I did consult, mostly, my sister and my friends. When I told people my situation, many people, older woman mostly, weren't afraid to lend some advice. I am going to admit that I was scared due to the whole saying, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free," but I did get some good pointers:

1. Don't do anything in the 1st four months that you don't
want to do for the rest of your life.
2. Just realize -- they are a different breed.
3. They only think of three things, sex, sports and their "toys."
Everything, in their heads, are connected to these three things.


What do you think is going to be your biggest adjustment? And what do you think will be his biggest adjustment?
The biggest adjustment so far has been that he is anal about things that I couldn't care less about, such as when I come home from work, the first thing I like to do is fling my shoes off and put my bags (three of them) down, fully intending to pick them up later. HE CAN'T stand it so he starts talking to me as if I am a little kid. I'm like..."Jeremy, you are not my mother and I had every intention of picking that up later." His biggest adjustment is dealing with all my clothes, bath n body works products and make-up, oh and candles and "girly" touches to the house.

Do you have locks on your doors? (Hint: you might need them.)
YESSSS!!!!!!! Locks on every door, though we seldom use them, but just in case, they are there.

Interview with a soon-to-be cohabitator

Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Meet my friend Gretchen G. A couple weeks ago, or maybe it was a month, she asked me my opinion of living with my boyfriend and were the fireworks still there. More or less, she was asking me for my advice on living with your boyfriend. I tried and provided my opinion without pushing one or the other. In the end, I think her mind was made up but just needed to hear someone else's opinion. Needless to say, she's taking the plunge mid-February and here's some insight into her decision.

How long have you been dating the B.F.?
- We have been together a little over two years.

What was the final decision maker? ( Don't say financial reasons because all the experts say that's a big no-no.)
There are two of them:
- His roommate left and so the next natural move was to move in together so he didn't lose his townhouse (financial reason- haha)...
- Also... we are both big believers in living together before you get engaged. So in our tentative time line... we decided that it was time to move in and see what happened? We are both really excited!!! I guess you could say it was a "shit or get off the pot" kind of decision... haha


What did your/his parents say? Did you consult them for their opinion?
- My parents lived together and have been kind of excited for us to see if we can make it work. (mom specifically thinks a good step.)
- His parents are much more traditional, and his sister was engaged before they lived together... so they had a slightly different opinion. His mom a little nervous about it and his dad was more comfortable with it. They both figured that he was too old to tell him what to do. Plus, I know them very well and we get along....
- No we didn't consult them... we just decided and did it.

What do you think is going to be your biggest adjustment? And what do you think will be his biggest adjustment?
- my biggest adjustments? sharing one tiny bathroom (no storage). sharing food (I am a cheapskate- and i only buy Kroger brand). sharing TV (not gonna lie- love my lifetime movies and Oprah). ha ha
- his biggest adjustments? sleeping in the same bed all the time. feeling the pressure to be engaged from other people.

Do you have locks on your doors? (Hint: you might need them.)
- ha ha... well there are locks... I have never seen them locked and mike claims he is the key holder. ha ha. I WILL find them.

Interview with another cohabitator

Thursday, November 15, 2007
Let me introduce you to another cohabitator. She is a friend from college who gave up Cleveland's great weather to move to Texas to live with her B.F. I just saw this past weekend for the first time since she moved. With our night out fresh in my mind, I thought it was a great time to interview her and understand what it's like to pick and move across the country for a guy..or girl.

How long have you been dating/living with your boyfriend?
I have been living with the boyfriend for 4 months.

Why did you move in with him?
I moved because I lived across the country and I was sick of flying every other weekend to come see him. It was too hard and artificial and we needed/wanted to be together more often.

Editor's note: She moved from Cleveland to Austin.

Name an adjustment both of you needed to make and how you have solved it -- or haven't.
A lot of adjustments—He had to concentrate on something other than work and learn to be not so selfish anymore. I had to learn how to adjust in a new city- with no friends or family, and still not be too dependent on him.

What would your B.F. say is the hardest part living with you?
He would say the hardest part is feeling like all his attention has to go on me because I am new to this environment and don’t have anyone else

What is the hardest part of living with the B.F.
Hardest part is the long work hours; his job is very important and unexpected, being on call all the time. Dealing with the nurses that hit on him haha

Editor's note: Her B.F. is a surgeon.

How do you decide who does what? Who cleans/cooks/takes out the trash/household chores in general.
We don’t really decide- we do both really. I get home earlier than him 99 percent of the time so it’s easier for me to clean or cook than him but he still contributes a lot. If we both worked normal jobs I think we would split it equally. I can’t stand messy/unorganized things so I wind up cleaning more just because I need to have it my own way.

Interview with another cohabitant

Monday, September 24, 2007
Here is a short interview with my friend, Erin, who I met in college and still remain great friends with and lives with her B.F. I just asked a couple questions to get a better idea of how other couples coexist and what works for them.

How long have you lived with the B.F. and how long have you dated?
We have officially been living together for about a little over a year. We have been together for almost two years. We moved in together after only about 9 months of dating.

Why did you move in with him?
Because he asked me to and I thought it was a splendid idea. It made sense for us. I was about to purchase my own place when we realized how silly it would be for both of us to pay rent especially since we spent every night together anyway.


Name an adjustment both of you needed to make and how you have solved it-- or haven't.
I needed to make major adjustments. I had to get rid of my cat, move about 40 min away from the location I was living/working/ and friends were, and put major mileage on my lease. There wasn't enough closet space for me so his dad had to re-do the closets. We both had to adjust to sharing a bed together...every night. I had to learn to share TV time and that I needed to clean up after myself a lot quicker then I normally would.


What would your B.F. say is the hardest part living with you?
I tend to be lazy, my room is normally a mess, and I am always right.

What is the hardest part of living with the B.F.?
I cannot sprawl out and consume the whole bed like I love to do. Another hard thing is we don't have a huge house so when you want private/alone time it's really hard to get. I love living with my B.F.! I wouldn't change it for the world and what's to complain about.... It's like a slumber party every night with your best friend!

How did you decide on who does what? Who cleans/cooks/takes out the trash/household chores in general.
We basically respect one another and both do as much as we can when we have free time. At first he did most of it until he got fed up and said something to me. Now I think we have a good system. He always mows the lawn though... That's a negative for me.