Reliving my teen years part 2

Ok, Ok, Ok, everyone has been asking how the concert was?

Did she look good?
Did she sing live?
Were your seats good?

First off, the girl never sings live - EVER. Did I mention she was chomping on gum during Womanizer? I guess you can't go to her concerts ever thinking you are going to get live vocals because you will be thoroughly disappointed.

Me: I don't understand why the Pussycat Dolls can dance their behinds off and sing live. Why can't she at least try and do that?

My friend Maureen put it best. "Allison, you are missing one key point. She can't sing and never really could. She can only dance."

Britney didn't even count to 10 live when her dancers did push ups for her. Why can you not count to 10 live? How hard is that?

And my other pet peeve was the fact that she didn't engage with the audience until after 5 or 6 songs, said hello Pittsburgh and she was going to slow things down and sing Everytime. Look, can you not talk to the audience at all? We all know you aren't singing so could you at least yell something random like Merry Christmas again or Happy New Year? Ugh.

What was entertaining were all the outfits at the concert. Clearly, it was overflowing with girls and gay men of all ages - girls dressed as Britney from the Toxic video, wearing short pink wigs and big sunglasses, dressed like hookers and then girls like us who were rocking homemade Britney t-shirts.

Overall, we all had a really great time reliving our teen years and singing along to her songs like ...Baby One More Time, Toxic and Slave For You. We had amazing seats, 6 rows from the floor and could really see her and her dancers, circus performers and the Pussycat Dolls up close.

The after party was the best part of the whole trip. After hitting a few bars and seeing some of the grossest make out sessions of our lives, we ended the trip with a cab ride home. No big deal, right? WRONG, when your cabby has a keyboard in the front seat.

If you think texting and driving is bad, you've never witnessed playing the keyboard and driving.

We asked him to play Britney Spears. He didn't know who she was. We asked him to play "Ain't too proud to beg" and he burst into the strangest version of it we've ever heard. (Truthfully, I don't even think he was playing Ain't too proud to beg, but we were laughing so hard we didn't care at that point.) A keyboard? In the front seat?

Only in Pittsburgh I guess.

Friday Fodder

Friday, March 27, 2009

Well, today is the day! I'll be joining thousands of screaming mid-twenty ladies in Pittsburgh tonight to see the one, the only, queen of lip-synching.

I'm going not to lie...we created t-shirts and if you are following me on Twitter, you knew all of this already.

We picked our favorite image of Ms. Spears and put it on fitted tees from Forever21. The six of us are even wearing them out to a martini bar before the concert and will probably get strange looks from other people.

Do we care?

Well, not really because we are going to relive our teen years all over again for one night only with $140 tickets to the Circus.

So, what are your weekend plans?

you may be a blond if.....

Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I don't typically think of myself as an airhead. I'm really not an airhead. However, there are always those moments that smack you in the face and you realize, "I'm kind of an airhead right now."

Earlier this week, the BF and I grabbed a happy hour special at a local bar. We know both bartenders, were chatting it up with them and then somehow we started talking about something else. I think it had something to do with romance and chivalry and how it's dead and how he's neither of those things.

Anyway, the BF is saying something about how "romantic" he actually is toward me or was in previous relationships.... Well, I decided to cut him off because I can't stand listening to his rubbish anymore.

Me: "Ok Bosanova," thinking I sound so intelligent, "you can stop talking because it's not even close to being true."

BF: Bursts into laughter. "Bosanova? Really, Bosanova? It's actually Casanova, babe."

Right thinking, wrong wording.

clean & clear

Tuesday, March 24, 2009
...and not under control.

As I get older, I thought that one aspect of my teen life would go away forever. Well, it hasn't.

Why the hell do I still have acne? Why? Why? Why?

This stuff should be over by now. I suffered through the mild breakouts as a teen, testing every acne cream including the white and tinted Clearasil. I tested every color of concealer under the sun my mom would let me buy at Drug Mart from CoverGirl to Maybelline. It never worked and probably looked terrible with a multicolor face! Good thing we didn't carry cell phones like kids do these days. There would be sooooo many more bad pictures available to haunt me.

I'm 26 yet I still have remnants of my teen years. Every three months without fail, I feel a bump start to develop in what is commonly known as the "T zone."

Boys, make a "T" on your face and that's what's known as the T zone. It's typically known as greasiest zone on your face.

Anyway, I still get these monstrous bumps near my chin every three months. The rest of my face will be completely clear minus the bump. The only thing that ever "cures" them is a shot in my face from the dermatologist.

Don't cringe, it's not painful and just costs a doctor's visit to fix it.

It's like botox for middle aged women. Botox reduces lines and my shot reduces zits.

I pop over to his office on my lunch hour and come back, knowing that my face will clear up in a few days versus the week and a half it would normally take. Sometimes I even leave tiny bandage on my face to hide the icky redness.

I just experienced my three month itch and definitely not awaiting my next spot that will appear in June like clockwork. Damn you, t-zone!

Run Forest Run

Monday, March 23, 2009
A month or so ago I found out about the Cleveland Marathon on May 17. Initially, I thought I could run the marathon, then the half marathon, then I set my sights on the 10K. I can run 6.2 miles without stopping, right?

Well, I've never been much a long distance runner but more of a volleyball player in my more athletic days. I set a goal and I'm going to run in the 10K, rain or shine, and kick some serious ass in it. I've even guilted several of my friends to run and we've even kept each other posted on our training or not-so-training training.

My goal is to finish it in under 60 minutes, meaning I'm going to have to kick up my training and run 10 minute miles. Can I do it? Can you? Well, get your asses in gear because you only have 55 days to start training.

What are your upcoming goals?

How Do I Live Without You

Saturday, March 21, 2009
Seeing as I'm no expert on relationships, here's one tidbit of information I can pretty much be certain on. If you are going to cheat, LeAnn or Eddie, you might want to make sure security cameras aren't in your restaurant and that you didn't piss off the waitress to sell the tape to US Weekly.

Is it just me or do you kind of think the celebrity feeding frenzy has gone too far with this one? I wonder how much the restaurant sold this footage for?

the hills are alive

Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Dear Mark Burnett productions,

Let me be the first to say no one in their right mind wants to see a scripted show about Audrina Patridge.

"Patridge has inked a deal with Mark Burnett Productions (the company behind the popular franchise Survivor) to star in a new series that will follow her personal and professional life."

No one cares. No one cares about her life after she's done filming the Hills. She's not an actress. And what profession? She's famous for doing nothing and truly not that interesting to warrant her own show.

What could she possibly do that's interesting?
Take off her clothes? Um, she did that already.
Have a sex tape? Well, I'm sure that already exists and her publicist is just waiting to release it. (This is what makes women famous for some stupid reason now.)
Walk around half naked? Check
Talk in catch phrases? O.M.G. like I know, right.

Maybe these girls will graduate to the OC Housewives one day.

No, I'm not too old to sing and dance in my room

Spring is in the air. Can you feel it Cleveland? Can you? Can you?

After convincing myself that I would take today off and head downtown to the St. Patty's Day parade, I cannot join my dear friend Alexa and run wild in this close to 60 degree weather. No, no, I can't, but I get to eat corned beef hash with my coworkers and maybe even pull out the corn hole bags for a game.

But, what I can do next Friday is head with my fellow Britney-lovin' friends to her concert in Pittsburgh!!! Wahoo!!! Can you sense the girlish excitement? Why yes I paid $100-something to watch her shake her stuff, lipsynch and prance around on the stage, knowing full well she may or might not make it until next weekend. So far, it looks like she's going strong though.

All six of my girlfriends have been counting down the months, then weeks and now days to see Ms. Spears.

Hello Pittsburgh in 10 days!

Bad relationship of the week

Oh, how I do love my reality shows! The Housewives season has always kept my attention because it's so hysterically funny and plastic. They are all about money, making money, keeping money or rubbing the money their friends don't have in their faces. Plus, those women are gossipy as hell, which always makes for great TV.

The latest OC Housewives introduced us to Gretchen. Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you have to be married in order to be a housewife? Anyway, apparently little old Gretchen is having some issues in the love department.

Apparently her not-so-real-boyfriend that Tamra called out on the reunion special called 911 and claimed she was trying to commit suicide. Sounds serious until you listen to the call and find out these people have nothing better to do with their time then make fake 911 calls.

And, I have nothing better to do than DVR every episode and laugh hysterically!

Dating traits 101

Last night as I was trying to watch Desperate Housewives (yes, some of us have stuck through all seasons, the BF was reading to me "five traits a guy should have before getting serious."

For kicks, I encourage him to read them out loud and pause DH because this will probably get funny at some point. We laugh about them and I immediately say it's all lame, so here's my take on these traits that every man should have before you get serious....supposedly.

Dating Trait #1: He Knows What He Wants
Does anyone ever really know what they want? Ever? If they did, would the divorce rate really be at that crazy high number?

Dating Trait #2: He Has a Sunny Outlook
What the hell is this about? I have a sunny outlook most days except when people can't drive in rain, wreck their cars and cause me to be late into the morning. I also have a sunny outlook with my daily workouts, which I'm kicking ass by the way, until grown women can't read signs distinguishing the walk vs. run lanes, walk with their purses and take up 60% of the track. (If you are working out, put the damn purse down.)

Dating Trait #3: He's Open to Changing for You
WHAT! Does that mean everything I ever read in Seventeen isn't true? Newsflash - I'm pretty sure he's not going to change and neither are you.

Dating Trait #4: He's Still a Little Mysterious
Um... mysterious like sexy mysterious or I-have-a-secret-porn-addiction mysterious.

Dating Trait #5: He's Responsible with Money
Ok, this might be the only one I agree with because I sure can learn a thing or two from someone who is responsible with their money. I'm getting better, slowly but surely, I'm improving.

What are the dating traits you look for in men or women?

Friday Fodder

Friday, March 6, 2009
My blog skills have been lacking this week. I'm not feeling as witty, funny or creative when it comes to sharing my loud opinion on this little blog. But, that's what friends are for!

Last night a group of us decided to hit up Sushi Rock for Tsunami night, which is something I forgot I loved going to. I don't think I've been in there in almost a year, but the calamari and I made up for lost time. It just so happened that another group of friends was going to be there later so after we finished 2 calamaris, a salad, edamame, and 7 rolls and three cocktails each, we slowly walked over to the bar to meet our other friends. (There was five us and we like to eat and drink if you can't tell.)

OK, on to my story. A friend was set up by another friend on a first date-sort-of-meeting if you will that night. The 6 of us hung out at the bar while she was chatting it up with this guy who I still think I know, but can't figure out how I know him.

Fast forward an hour and we've all moved to the lounge area, are sipping on pomegranate martinis and he's still chatting it up with my friend.

Because girls HAVE to go to the bathroom in groups, my friend Erin followed me. She knows I hate this but always does it.

Erin - "I don't know what to think of that guy."
Me - "What? Why? I think I know him and I'm not sure how."
Erin - "You think you know everyone and you don't."
Me - "I don't know everyone, I just have a good memory. I wonder where I know him from...."
Erin -"Well Danielle tried to hook me up with him years ago, I said no and now she's introducing him to Jamie."
Me- "So, what's your point? He seems nice and it's a first date sort of. It's harmless."

Erin- "He looks uncomfortable." Thinking hard, "Like he has to poop or something."

Random girl walks into the bathroom and starts laughing as she hears Erin say that.

Me - "Well, I'd be uncomfortable too if I had to meet a date for the first time with us there. Wouldn't you?"
Erin - "I don't know, but I still thinks he has to take a poop."

another one bites the dust

Last night, I wasted valuable minutes of life watching, laughing and almost crying because I was laughing so hard at the Bachelor and all the edited drama. I kept Twittering through out it because I'm addicted, but that's a whole other story in itself.

You have g-o-t to be kidding me with that crap called reality TV. So entirely scripted if you ask me. Although, props to the producers who brought back Deanna for a not-so dramatic entrance and exit which was all of about 3 minutes. And, how dare you throw my friend under the bus as picking the "adventurous and exciting one" who eventually wasn't the "right" one. Um, didn't you realize that that was his personality when he said he was a professional snowboarder! Or did you miss that part when you went to his house and saw the snowboards lining his staircase?

However, I do think these ladies are going to make quite the living for themselves now that they are done. Melissa is one beautiful girl who will probably get offered several deals including a Playboy spread, an E! gig and maybe even her own version of the Bachelorette. Hell, maybe that's what she wanted all along.

If Molly doesn't end up being the wifey in Seattle, I'm sure there's a nice career waiting for her at any number of retailers since she is a buyer. She could even come back on and help Melissa sift through her 25 suitors when she's chosen as the next Bachelorette. How about that for a show!

Onto the next show.....